The Psychology Behind Cuffing Season
As the days shorten, air gets crisp, and puffers come out, many start looking for more than just pumpkin spice lattes to warm up—like a partner to get spicy with. Enter cuffing season—the time between fall and first quarter of the following year, where holidays arrive back to back and couples seem to pop up everywhere on campus but start disappearing after Valentine’s. Cuffing season is more than a simple observation, and data backs it up: a 2019 Dating.com survey found a 30 percent spike in user activity between November and February, and 60 percent reported their motives in participating in online dating to ease feelings of sadness and anxiety [1]. Though snuggling up with your newfound boo can certainly warm you up during these tough Canadian winters, the heartbreak that unveils itself from all the holiday glamor can be tough to handle. So what exactly is the reason behind the annual mass migration into temporary relationships?
One huge factor is social comparison. As the holidays approach, we are bombarded with images of couples; from formal family gatherings to intimate mistletoe moments, social media is filled with images of love and lust. But all this couple-centric cheer can make singles feel left out or crave companionship—even if they’re happier in solo player mode—leading to a desire to fulfill this social expectation by bringing a partner home to friends and family to show off. Then there’s the classic “beer goggle effect” [2] where intoxication increases sexual attraction, making that one dude across the room at your neighbor’s Christmas party seem just a little too fine. So watch out if you’re downing one too many hot toddies; you might end up on Todd the hottie. On top of that, the holidays also just generally boost interest in romance and intimacy, with many studies finding that both interest and engagement in sex increase during the snowy holidays [3].
Biological shifts also play a big role. In the darker, colder months, testosterone levels in men tend to rise, which can increase partner and sex-seeking drives [4]. During kissing, snuggles or freaky times, oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” increases greatly for all sexes. Though this hormone is commonly seen as a love and sex hormone, oxytocin can also reduce stress and anxiety as it inhibits cortisol (stress hormone) production [5]. This may be why this oxytocin boost can be especially appealing in winter months where stressors—such as holiday gatherings with that one racist uncle, and of course, end-of-year exams—lurk around every corner.
Cuffing season can be tough for all of us who don’t put romance at the top of our to-do lists, but with all the social pressure and couples on campus, a holiday situationship doesn’t sound so bad, does it? Now, I’m not here to keep you from getting out your rose coloured glasses for a whirlwind romance, but before jumping headfirst, perhaps consider what your goals are for the cuffing season and communicate them to your partner(s). A cuffing season fling could be fun for all parties as long as there’s consent, so consider discussing what would happen after Valentine’s to avoid unnecessary heartbreak when those roses wilt. But hey, if you’re simply seeking character development this cuffing season: go wild.
- https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/datingcom-found-that-online-activity-hits-peak-se ason-during-cold-winter-months-300926222.html
- Palamar, J. J., Griffin-Tomas, M., Acosta, P., Ompad, D. C., & Cleland, C. M. (2018). A comparison of self-reported sexual effects of alcohol, marijuana, and ecstasy in a sample of young adult nightlife attendees. Psychology and Sexuality, 9(1), 54–68. https://doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2018.1425220
- Wood, I.B., Varela, P.L., Bollen, J. et al. Human Sexual Cycles are Driven by Culture and Match Collective Moods. Sci Rep 7, 17973 (2017). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-017-18262-5
- The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, Volume 88, Issue 7, 1 July 2003, Pages 3099–3104, https://doi.org/10.1210/jc.2002-021878
- Algoe, S. B., Kurtz, L. E., & Grewen, K. (2017). Oxytocin and Social Bonds: The Role of Oxytocin in Perceptions of Romantic Partners’ Bonding Behavior. Psychological Science, 28(12), 1763-1772. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797617716922