Advice from a Graduating Student
Lessons Learned, Regrets, and Highlights
After four bittersweet years, my time at the University of Toronto is finally coming to an end. During the rigorous semesters, each class felt like a million years. However, looking back, my undergraduate days flew by almost too quickly.
As COVID-19 continues to spread, restrictions on daily life seem to extend endlessly. While I want to remain optimistic, I can’t help but dread my impending graduation. Following a year of online school, virtual convocation has lost all novel or appealing qualities. Although I accomplished a significant educational goal, the inability to celebrate my achievement with friends and family dampens my whole undergraduate experience. After all, walking across the stage to receive my diploma in a cap and gown is part of what makes the hardships “worth” it.
Moreover, staying in school feels safer than facing the bleak prospects of such a tough labour market. Any graduating student can tell you about the nightmare of job hunting in a pandemic. In university, the curriculum dictates an exact formula for success; whereas in the real world, I have no rubric for guidance. Compared to shouldering immense financial pressures and crushing existential anxiety, I would much prefer schoolwork stress.
Yet, there is always a bright side. Now that I’m graduating, I can reflect upon my university career to acknowledge my shortfalls and reminisce about good times. Throughout my degree, I have struggled, and I have flourished. Moving to Canada as a naïve and overconfident freshman, I planned out my university years down to the courses. Nonetheless, the unpredictability of life has a way of humbling oneself. Despite my frustrations with the current circumstances, hoping my “wisdom” can help even one person gives me motivation. Without further ado, here are a few things I now know that I wish someone told me earlier.
- Self-Discipline is Self-Care
In my first and second year, whenever I wanted to make an impulse purchase, pig-out on fast food, or procrastinate on an assignment, I would think: “Treat yourself, you deserve this after working so hard.” I’ve come to realize that this rhetoric is deceivingly harmful. The idea that perseverance should be rewarded with letting yourself go creates unhealthy expectations. These “bad” practices become your extrinsic motivation for completing “good” tasks: If I work out now, I can have cake later. If I study now, I can binge Netflix later, and so on. Slowly, you lose your intrinsic drive for goals and the instances of “treating yourself” increase in frequency until they are no longer special occasions.
We really should flip the narrative. Self-discipline is the best way to “treat yourself.” Having a good sleep schedule, eating nutritious foods, working productively, exercising to stay energized, and planning quality social time are all ways you can practice self-care. Starting university, I was thrust into so much freedom with no one to supervise me. It didn’t take long to fall into bad habits. Now, I know from experience that wolfing down a family-sized bag of chips will make me feel greasy and fatigued, which means I’ll nap and mess up my sleep schedule. Forging a robust lifestyle routine and sticking to it will not only improve your physical health but also strengthen your willpower. And having that enhanced mental fortitude will benefit you for the rest of your life.
- Know Your Deadlines and Plan Accordingly
Taking five courses a semester means keeping track of an insane number of weekly quizzes, midterms, papers, group projects, and presentations. Each semester, after all my courses release their syllabi, I compile a list of all my assessments, in descending order by due date. Additionally, I add in all my extracurricular commitments, such as ICSS events I intend to facilitate. This way, I know exactly what’s coming up and I can plan ahead. If there are multiple assignments due on the same date, I can work on some earlier to reduce my workload. For larger assignments, I can set sub-deadlines to allow myself plenty of revision time. Based on my list, I can also make Writing Center appointments to get support for submitting my best work. Preparing in advance and spreading out my responsibilities has been a key strategy for managing my stress levels.
- Take Care of Your Body
Everyone knows that health is important. However, most university students in the prime of their youth don’t take health too seriously. It took ignoring my body and almost losing a kidney for me to realize that you CANNOT DO ANYTHING without good health. These days, campus discussions seem to focus on mental health. While I fully recognize the necessity of mental wellbeing, I also want to remind you not to neglect physical health. Did you know your calcium intake before age 20 determines if your bones fracture in old age? Or that skipping breakfast is linked to overeating and obesity? It is so important to take care of your body when you are still young to prevent years of discomfort later in life. Try your best to eat balanced meals, take multivitamins (especially Vitamin D and Calcium), drink water instead of soda, floss your teeth, follow a skincare regimen, and exercise every day. I cannot stress enough how crucial it is to maintain your health. Only after losing your health will you realize how much you took it for granted.
Another component of bodily care is working on your physical appearance. As vain as it sounds, giving myself a “glow up” has helped my confidence and mental health tremendously. Living a healthy lifestyle helps you look better in addition to feeling vitalized. For example, eating lots of fibre nurtures your gut microbiome, which improves dull and tired skin. Simultaneously, aim to incorporate personal grooming into your daily routine. Getting ready for the day is one of the best ways I switch into productive mode.
- Get Your Money’s Worth for Insurance
Relating to the previous point, all U of T students pay $400 a year for Studentcare insurance. Since you are already paying the fees, you might as well get your money’s worth and maximize using your coverage. Your insurance pays (fully or partially) for teeth cleanings, tooth fillings, prescription eyewear, hormonal birth control, IUDs, vaccinations, physiotherapy, psychiatrist appointments, massage therapy, and so much more. The Studentcare website provides detailed information on what is covered. I usually submit claims via the Studentcare app and receive reimbursements within three business days. Do yourself a favour and get acquainted with the healthcare benefits so that you can enjoy them while they last.
- Clean as If You Lived Alone
If you are like most students, living with roommates will be a part of your university experience. While chore delegation seems simple, people ultimately have different living habits. I’ve seen so much time and energy wasted on roommate conflicts about cleaning. The best piece of advice I have is to treat living with roommates as if you lived by yourself. If you lived alone, you would have sole responsibility for all the chores. So, even if it is your roommate’s turn to take out the trash, just let it go and do it yourself. This does not mean hold a grudge against your roommates for making you do all the work. Instead, change your perspective and be grateful that they sometimes pitch in to help. If you have a high standard for cleanliness, don’t expect others to meet you. Rather, clean your home based on your preferences as if you lived on your own.
- Learn About Personal Finance
In all honesty, this is still something I am working on. Entering university was the first time I had complete control over all my money. It was also when I started earning some money for myself. While I never made any extravagant purchases, I also didn’t manage my finances all that well either. Apply for a student credit card as soon as you can so that you can accumulate your credit score. Set up a registered Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA) to secure your savings. Look into GICs, ETFs, cryptocurrency, and stock portfolios to grow your wealth. Create monthly budgets, and track your spending and student debt. Personal finance is a lifelong project, but it is super important to build the foundations early on.
- Good Grades Don’t Mean Much
I say this as someone who has a generally desirable GPA: grades don’t mean shit. Obviously don’t fail your courses and try to achieve your best. However, don’t assign too much personal value to your grades. They are just a number that quantifies your performance for a few months. That’s it. Getting a bad grade is always fixable (trust me, I’ve gone from almost failing to getting an A+), and even if you don’t end up with the outcome you hoped for, any grade is so minuscule in the grand scheme of things. I don’t think I’ve had any more opportunities than someone with a lower GPA than me. Contrarily, I’ve seen lots of people with lower GPAs thrive on the job market. Most job applications nowadays don’t even ask for your transcript. Concentrate on broadening your horizon, building a social network, and learning soft skills.
- Talk About Your Problems
I spent way too much time in first and second year keeping my emotions bottled up and spiralling down into self-pity and self-hatred. We all know that others deal with their own problems, but we often forget we are only seeing a superficial fraction of their lives. Sharing your frustrations encourages others to reciprocate, thereby fostering a deeper connection. I used to have really bad anxiety, but I gradually overcame my fears after countless candid conversations with my friends. Confiding in others always lifts a weight off my chest, and I find that I mentally function better afterwards. Taking the first step and being vulnerable is not easy, but it is well worth the effort.
- Introspect and Think Long-Term
Echoing my previous sentiments, I find it really helpful to reorient myself with introspection once in a while. It’s good to acknowledge your thoughts and emotions head-on. I used to have all this pent-up anger where I blamed the universe for my problems. Through introspection, I truly realized that I caused a lot of my own problems. Seeing yourself clearly, identifying your feelings, and evaluating what you like/don’t like can help you set long-term goals. It’s important to frame your introspection in relation to your entire life because that can help you gauge the importance of events. For example, getting a bad midterm grade is so temporary in a life span of 80 years, but becoming a more tolerant person can help you make friendships that last a lifetime.
- Enjoy Yourself
Soon, you will be in my shoes, wondering where all the time went. I forged all my best U of T memories by doing stupid crazy things with my friends. 10 years from now, that will be what I remember, not any assignment grade. I regret not going out more and prioritizing my social life before the pandemic hit. Now that my entire friend group is graduating and moving across the world, who knows when we will all be in one place again. If the pandemic ever ends, make the most of opportunities to have fun with friends. Cherish your undergraduate experience, and enjoy yourself while you still can.