This university really loves to forget that most of us don’t spend time studying in our dorms, hanging with our roommates, and learning to #adult for the first time. Most of us spend it living in our childhood bedrooms, trying not to fall asleep on the TTC, and telling our new friends we can’t hang out because our mommy gets worried when we’re home late. For first years, former downtown kids who ran out of money, and my homies from North York, Scarborough, Etobicoke, Mississauga, Brampton, Vaughan, Markham, Richmond Hill, Pickering, and Ajax – here are some tricks to survive as a commuter.

Not for Oakville kids, though. If you’re from Oakville, I demand you stop reading.

Your backpack

When you already carry your life on your back like a turtle, what’s adding an extra half-kilogram to help yourself out in an emergency? Bring extras, and be generous; I’ve made a surprising amount of friends because I had Advil on me when they had a headache.

• If you only bring one thing beside your laptop to school, make it a water bottle; just by having the option of using one you’ll end up so much more hydrated. Don’t bother to fill it up more than halfway before you leave the house – water is heavy, and you can refill it all over campus anyway.
• Things you need, because you will use at least one of these a week:
  • Bandaids
  • Over-the-counter painkillers
  • A shelf-stable snack
  • A $20 bill
  • Something to write with
  • A pack of tissues
  • A plastic fork
• Things you should consider based on your own needs:
  • Wet wipes
  • Fidget toys
  • A pack of cards
  • Hairties
  • Glasses cloth and cleaner
  • Pads
  • Lip balm
  • Travel-sized hand lotion
  • Travel-sized deodorant
  • A set of earbuds
  • Spare socks
  • Mints/hard candy

Your school

Campus is a maze, especially if you don’t have a home base like someone who lives on res. Make sure you explore it. You deserve to feel at home here, too.

• Find a bathroom you like near your transit stop – the day you decide to hold it until you get home is ALWAYS the day where the subway shuts down and you nearly piss your pants.
• Find someplace where no one goes. There is going to be a time when you are desperate for privacy; to poop, to eat, to nap, or to cry. Look in basements, top floors, buildings off the main roads. Also, I shouldn’t have to say this, but your pooping spot should NOT be the same as your napping spot.
• The Office of Student Life tries their best to help us, I’m sure, but 10 of their appointments can’t do for you what being on a first-name basis with a caretaker, restaurant worker, or secretary working on campus can. Be friendly and polite, and don’t feel strange about introducing yourself. You’ll get a sense of community out of it – and you might get to know a few secrets about the school.

Your friends

It is so hard to talk to people on this campus. High school friends drift away, and exchanging Instagrams on the first day never really does anything. If you’re saying goodbye to your family and not speaking another word until you get back home, you’re not going to like school.

• Join a club. I know everyone says this, and I know it’s going to suck. You’ll be tired after a long day, and getting home hours after dark is terrible. But it is literally the only way to make friends. Join two or three that work with your schedule. Don’t bother if they don’t meet in person. Go to the first two meetings, and then if you hate it after that you can quit. But if you like even one person there, stick with them. Even if they don’t end up being your friend, they might introduce you to the people who will be.
• One of your friends needs to be someone who lives on campus or very near it. I know this sounds manipulative, but cultivate that relationship as best you can. There will come a night where you’re too tired to go home, and it’s so much better to call a friend and crash downtown than to sleep on a desk at Bahen hoping no one steals your stuff.
• If you want your friend group to stay together, don’t shit where you eat. You should only be hooking up with a friend (or someone important to a friend) if you’re interested in a long-term relationship with that person, or if you’ve talked about it properly. Otherwise, inevitably, one person catches feelings or one person feels betrayed, and then everyone has to pick sides and you all fall apart.

Your safety

Our city is not dangerous, but you should always be careful, even if you’re a guy and assume no one would target you. All that means is no one told you what to look out for.

• If you’re commuting and someone is being volatile, put your headphones on, turn your music off, and close your eyes. People pay less attention to someone who’s not moving or making eye contact, and this way you can track the hazard without them realizing you’re doing it. If you ever feel in danger (instead of just uncomfortable), get off as soon as you can and find an official to wait beside until you can get on the next one. Better half an hour late than hurt.
• If you’re being harassed, or suspect you’re being followed, go into a fast-food place. Buy something small and tell the employees what’s happening. Ask if you can wait until the person loses interest. If they follow you in, the employees will chase them out and will help keep you safe. If you can’t find a restaurant, catch up to a pedestrian and ask to walk with them. Most people will help.
• At a party, never take a drink from someone who doesn’t work there. That thing about roofies tasting salty is a myth – you probably will not know someone slipped you something until you pass out. If you get into trouble, go to the bartender of the club or the fraternity brothers at the house. They are invested in keeping you safe, because if you get hurt they’ll be shut down. And PLEASE use the buddy system.

Living away from home isn’t for everybody – it wasn’t for me. I love this school so much more now that I go back to my family at the end of each day. Commuting isn’t easy, but with a little bit of effort and organization it can turn from something embarrassing into something you wouldn’t change for the world.