It can be hard to pick a movie to watch on any occasion, but when you’re watching with a romantic interest the wrong choice can turn out anywhere from mildly awkward to catastrophic. Here are some movies you should or shouldn’t watch, depending on who’s going to be sitting next to you.

With a secret crush…

DO: watch Amélie (2001, dir. Jean-Pierre Jeunet)

This is a beautiful movie about a shy but competent lead who’s not only pursuing her love interest, but also her own life. Perfect for if you need a little encouragement to make a move but don’t want to be too obvious about your feelings. 

DON’T: watch Titane (2021, dir. Julia Ducournau)

One thing you should not want your crush to think about while you’re trying to woo them is why you wanted to watch an insane cyborg serial killer have sex with a car. 

With a first date…

DO: watch Submarine (2010, dir. Richard Ayoade)

Coming from someone who tends to dislike 15-year-old boys on film, trust me when I say this movie’s protagonist is one of the sweetest romantics ever put to screen. It’s cute, inoffensive and pretty universally funny. I’d recommend this to anyone.

DON’T: watch Crash (1996, dir. David Cronenberg)

I have two reasons for picking this. Reason #1: this movie is full of freaky people having freaky sex, and if you don’t really know each other that’s an easy recipe for discomfort. Reason #2: It’s too good!!! I’d hate to see anyone in the very realistic scenario of being ignored by a date who’s too busy watching people have sex in cars.

You’re tryna get it on…

DO: watch literally anything.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from listening to other people’s sexcapades, it’s that your movie choice here generally doesn’t matter. Scott Pilgrim vs The World? Sure! Everything Everywhere All At Once? Done deal! Just put that Netflix shuffle on and you’ll be fine.

DON’T: watch The Piano Teacher (2001, dir. Michael Haneke)

That being said, this one’s a definite NO. It doesn’t matter if you pay attention for the whole two hours or just a few minutes; at best, it will turn you and your partner off doing literally anything at all for the rest of the night, and at worst it will make you never want to touch yourself or another person ever again.

You’re trying to impress a filmbro (or babe)…

DO: Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975, dir. Pier Paolo Pasolini)

Yeah just trust me on this one. Enjoy!

DON’T: La Dolce Vita (1960, Federico Fellini)

This film is about a self-pitying man who hates everyone around him and thinks his hot girlfriend is too clingy. Extra “don’t watch this” points if your date is an aspiring writer.

You love each other…

DO: watch Before Sunrise (1995, dir. Richard Linklater)

The kind of “no plot, just vibes” movie which lets you watch someone be in love, whether they’re on screen or right next to you.

DON’T: watch Brief Encounter (1945, dir. David Lean)

One of the most devastatingly romantic movies about two people who can’t be together. Even if I were married myself, I’d still be rooting for this couple’s infidelity so don’t watch this if you have even a shred of doubt about your relationship.

With / as a third wheel…

DO: watch Singin’ In The Rain (1952, dir. Stanley Donen & Gene Kelly)

Not at all sexy (thank you Hays Code!) but also not un-romantic. This is a perfect, joyful movie for exactly three friends who all love each other equally (as friends).

DON’T: watch Y Tu Mamá También (2001, dir. Alfonso Cuarón)

All I can say is that the three of you may never look at each other in the same way again. Don’t even watch this if you intend to become a throuple.

You’re having second thoughts about them…

DO: watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004, dir. Michel Gondry)

Whether you’re looking for something to push you to break up with them, or remind you how good you and your partner are together, this movie will offer you the space to really consider what you want to do.

DON’T: watch Possession (1981, dir. Andrzej Żuławski)

Stabbing, shooting, drowning; you name it. Possession contains probably the worst outcomes of a breakup I’ve ever seen in my life. Give your sanity a chance and don’t watch this.

You guys are TOXIC…

DO: watch Phantom Thread (2017, dir. Paul Thomas Anderson)

For some people, toxic just works. Daniel Day-Lewis and Vicky Krieps play characters whose relationship works not in spite of, but thanks to the mean ways they treat each other. Watch this and celebrate the acts of love which only the two of you could ever understand.

DON’T: watch Out of the Past (1947, dir. Jacques Tourneur)

Without giving anything away, all I can say is that if you’re someone who likes to avoid thinking about your relationships with any sense of fatigue or resignation then this noir is not for you.

They’re kind of an asshole…

DO: It Happened One Night (1934, dir. Frank Capra)

Maybe your partner rubs you the wrong way sometimes, but maybe you actually kind of like it! If this movie resonates with you, I’d say that’s a good sign that your tension is just the right kind of romantic. 

DON’T: In A Lonely Place (1950, dir. Nicholas Ray)

Watch this movie without your partner, in secret, and if Humphrey Bogart makes you feel the same way your partner does? Run.

Happy watching!