Why do I post a meme I found funny to my “close friends” story instead of sending it directly to a friend? How many times have I pretended to be on my phone when I am nervous at a party? How many times have I sat next to someone in my lecture and not spoken a single word to them? I can’t even excuse my silence for being studious or stoic because my hand is constantly itching to check my phone for notifications. Besides, how am I supposed to focus on a lecture if there is no Subway Surfers–Family Guy clip running in the background?? 

What does it mean to have individuality in the age of social media? What does it mean to have human connection in the age of social media? I find myself precariously wishing to delete my social media accounts, yet I am never able to commit to it. How would I meet new people? Sometimes it feels like I recognize more people on campus from Instagram than from forming genuine connections with them. But I think a more pressing issue is: How would I know what to consume in order to relate to others? 

I crave individuality and acceptance simultaneously and juxtaposingly. One must study how to be unique and interesting, yet not be so obscure that they’re perceived as a social outcast. Internet micro-trend algorithms provide “solutions” for this, of which I will provide examples. 

Are you a Neon Genesis Evangelion-enjoying, Doc Martens-wearing, left-leaning, Oat Milk drinker? How about a Patrick Bateman-esque, Radiohead-listening, Murakami-reading, “real” “sigma”? What about a Phoebe Bridgers-listening, green juice-drinking, pilates-enjoying, Gilmore Girls-watching, journaling “clean girl”? 

If I fell into any of these categories, would you know what kind of person I am? Would you be right? Would you actually know me, or am I a stranger to you still? Would you think we could be friends based on these indicators that I have given you? Would you create a fictionalized version of me, similar to the way you would if I were an online persona? 

I once went out with someone who told me that they’d been “bragging” to their friends about how they’d found “a girl who likes Breaking Bad and Elliot Smith.” On another occasion, someone in my tutorial told me that I “looked like I listened to Taylor Swift,” and their companion quipped, “Or Björk.” I was floored. Sure, I desire connection, but at what cost? Am I to be reduced to a Tik-Tok algorithm hashtag? Have I ever even had an original thought? Where on earth is that damn Subway Surfers–Family Guy clip to help me through this?? Even as I write this, I have no answers to my dilemma (or rather, no Subway Surfers–Family Guy clip to help me focus on a solution). I suppose I wanted to write something personalized, rather than academic, to better capture the issue of isolation and lack of identity within Gen Z (since I know we may be sick of listening to our parents tell us that our phones are the problem, and sure they may have a point but it’s never pleasant to hear it from them). Perhaps someone reading this paper may stumble across my lament and feel less alone.