Innis Town Hall is already the centre of U of T’s cinephilic community. There can be no doubt that it has what it takes to be the centre of a whole lot more. Despite the fact that its name reeks of municipal authority, the institution does not have any say in the governance of Toronto. This, if you ask me, is where Hogtown has gone horribly wrong. 

Town Hall, which receives daily letters about late garbage pickups on Lippincott St and raucous parties on Huron, should accept its fate and take on the responsibilities of civic administration. The time has come to move beyond film screenings. It is my contention that the sublime cinema should be playing an active role not only in perpetuating the cult of Sergei Eisenstein, but also in infrastructure, sanitation, and pest control. 

Without so much as a hiccup, the subsidiary of Innis College could easily surpass the legislative capacity of City Hall. Excluding coffee breaks and closed door meetings with developers, City Council’s productivity rivals only that of Sisyphus. All the while, Mayor Chow, an idol for aspiring bureaucrats the world over, has been tackling homelessness with the pep of a plastered sloth. 

For those foolhardy dissenters who still refuse to see the light, I pray you consider this. Surely you must admit that what the Town Hall lacks in policy know-how and democratic legitimacy, it makes up for with its Christie CP4220 projector, Dolby sound processing, and QSC DCS Cinema speakers. Not to mention, if we don’t vest the cinema with municipal jurisdiction soon, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes a Cineplex.