I’m standing in a room full of students holding a piece of paper in my hand. It’s a nomination form that one of the older students handed to me. I feel nervous and excited. A little honoured too, I guess. I’ve been handpicked by an upper year to run in a student government election. That’s a big deal, right? This was Frosh Week 2012 and my first experience with student leadership and politics at U of T.

I’m a student leader, or at least I’ve been labeled one for the last four years. But what does that really mean? What qualifies me to lead anyone? Am I good at it? Am I helping students? Will I have an impact on the U of T community? These are the types of questions I’m constantly thinking about. And to be honest, even after four years in the game I still haven’t really figured out what the rules are. Still, that’s not to say I haven’t learned a lot along the way about the realm of student leadership at U of T, or haven’t had the chance to develop my skill set.

When we talk about student leadership, especially when we’re encouraging new students to get involved, we often discuss the impact you get to make on your community and the interesting people you meet along the way. And it’s true. When you’re in a position of student leadership, you get a front row seat to all the important student issues on campus. You get to meet with administration, work with the best and the brightest minds on campus, and speak on behalf of students. If you’re lucky, you have the opportunity to make some kind of difference. And although I can honestly say that contributing to the prosperity of student life really does give you that warm fuzzy feeling, I also think that we too often stay silent about the challenges of student politics.

There’s a common saying in student leadership: we’re students first. You usually hear this around election time in an effort to relate to constituents. But are we really students first? So many of us prioritize meetings, projects, and events over school. We live and breathe the drama and politics that is an inevitable part of the world we’ve constructed. Sure, we go to class, we write papers and tests. But was I really present in class if I spent the whole time writing emails? Did I really do well on that test after pulling an all-nighter drafting policy? What we’re really driven by is the rush of student politics, and a lot of the time this impacts our academics, our sleeping schedules, our stress levels and our overall mental health. Like many others, the years that I spent in this environment definitely took a toll on me.

I think that the world of student politics is both very attractive and potentially quite dangerous. We often get too caught up in the politics of it all and we stop taking care of ourselves and each other. I think elections season, which we’ve all just lived through, is a good example of that. We become our harshest critics and we terrorize our opponents for the smallest mistakes, mistakes we may have committed but luckily got away with. I think we get so caught up in our cause being the one, true, and righteous, that we stop acknowledging the actual people on the opposing side. Competition is good. Bringing forward new ideas is good. Having honest discussions and debates about what is best for our communities is great. But I think we need to learn to take a step back and look at the big picture for the sake of our own wellbeing, the wellbeing of others, and the wellbeing of the student movement.

I believe in students, and I believe in the power student communities hold.

Maybe that makes me naïve, but I think there’s something empowering about students coming together to fight for a cause. After spending a good deal of time in student politics at U of T, I think there is great potential to transform student life and services on our campus for the better. However, I think we need to acknowledge the positives and the negatives of the environment we’ve created, and learn to be better for the sake of ourselves and others. Are student politics perfect? Not even close. But is it worth our time? Absolutely.

Khrystyna Zhuk is the outgoing president of the ICSS, and is completing a double major in Equity and Women and Gender Studies.