Tracklist:

1. Go Back (집에) — SE SO NEON
2. Roadrunner Blues — Midlake, John Grant
3. Kite War — HYUKOH, Sunset Rollercoaster
4. Today’s Weather Was A Failure (오늘의 날씨는 실패다) — Night Off
5. I’ll Be You, Be Me — Glen Hansard
6. Flowerpot (화분) — Loveholic
7. Powder Junkie — Jealous of the Birds
8. Salt Lake City — Etta Marcus, Matt Maltese
9. County Fair — John Grant

I had planned to ditch the city at the first glimpse of summer. The plan was to run off to my park ranger job, live in the woods, and jump into a dark, beautiful lake every night. By May, when temperatures started to crank, every inch of my body was itching to go frolic; there’s only so much grey slush and grey skyline a person can take. Before I could split, though, a twist of fate left me with a pair of crutches and a concussion. And so began my slow, simmering summer.

Suddenly, I had four blank months after a dizzying first year of university that felt like a continually mutating self-blueprint: morphing convictions, aspirations, self-definitions, and a ballooning sense of being utterly directionless. The sudden abundance of time to reflect brought on a vertigo that merged with recurrent heatwaves to leave me sizzling in my old twin bed. The heat of summer, I found, doesn’t get any less intense when you’re holed up indoors.

But I know I’m not alone in feeling lost this summer. Whether you spent it roaming freely under the sun, or scrambling between commitments, or, like me, watching things happen outside, we’re living in an in-between. For a lot of us, it’s trying to hunt down apartments, seeing friends from home and feeling strangely changed, trying to figure out where people nab all these internships, and trying our best to feel brave and reckless. We are supposed to be actualizing, but not much has fallen into place yet. It’s frustrating, and it’s scary. There’s definitely a need to scream our heads off at the Sun.

Take all that stewing energy and lostness, blend in some rock and electro tones, add some Korean indie, and here’s my playlist.

We open strong with the drums of “Go Back” by SE SO NEON, punctuated by a leading note like a whistling kettle. The whole song goes from dreamy to desperate on the breath of that note. When lead singer Hwang So-yoon’s smoky voice finally erupts into the chorus, I feel like I’m suspended mid-air. John Grant and Midlake’s “Roadrunner Blues,” though—that takes you down to the dirt. Low, brutal, and slightly metallic. Then “Kite War” turns everything upside down, starting smooth then letting all hell break loose in saxophone form. But the feverish energy mellows considerably in Night Off’s “Today’s Weather Was A Failure.” For those who don’t speak Korean, I think the sound experience perfectly captures the melancholy, questioning lyrics. 

translated:

The cat is going somewhere. It’s running, busy. The birds are trotting.

Should I make a new resolution? Should I go eat again?

Should I wander through all the alleys in the neighborhood?

The next two songs feel like a love story. Glen Hasard’s “I’ll Be You, Be Me” is like a sandstorm. “The Flowerpot” by Loveholic is what comes and wraps you up in cool bandages. For me, the two songs feel like mystery, tenderness, and clashing feelings. Next up is “Powder Junkie” by Jealous of the Birds. The rhythm is the bravado borne of too late a night and too many drinks: we don’t have it figured out; we sure as hell don’t need to. We’re young and confused and we don’t make sense.

You’re so fresh with your pale dark bliss,

those blackjack eyes and tambourine hips

“Salt Lake City” by Etta Marcus and Matt Maltese finds me in my room at some ungodly hour, sentimental and staring at the moon. Their voices come together, haunting but gentle, and it sounds like growing pains. Then, for the finale, John Grant brings us to the ground again with “County Fair.” This time, his voice melds childhood nostalgia into an intense surreality. It’s summertime, you’re at the fair, but on some other, boiling hot planet. As his voice softens to a close, we’re left on a feeling of limbo:

We’ll ride the Matterhorn and the double Ferris-Wheel

We love to listen to the screams and the squeals

And it’s hard to believe that the things we are seeing are real

As we approach the last of summer—this limbo or thrilling adventure or whatever—I hope these songs give you a release from the heat, from all the simmering we’ve been doing. And for all those who spent the summer lost and wandering, let this playlist be an affirmation that time spent wandering is time well spent.