CW: Suicide

“Hey love, are you feeling any better today?” I slowly woke up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. As my vision cleared, I turned my head to see Lily, my wife, peeking in the door to my hospital room. I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. Despite how much I hate this place, Lily certainly made the experience more tolerable. 

“Hi sweetheart, the doctor was here just a little bit ago; have a seat, I have an update for you.” I’ve been stuck in this hospital for what must be about a year now, and each time we were given news, it got worse and worse. Lily tries to be hopeful, but the year has been hard on both of us. Lily thinks I don’t notice the dark circles under her eyes. She’s a mess, but I suppose so am I. 

“Alright, I brought you some flowers since your last batch is starting to wilt, and they really should get in water so give me just a moment,” Lily said, as she stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. In her left hand was a small bouquet of lilies. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing when I saw them. On our first date, I had bought Lily a bouquet of lilies and a dress with lily patterns, and I was a nervous mess. When I saw Lily, I called the gifts “some lilies for my Lily.” The second the words left my mouth, I regretted them, blushing like crazy. But Lily seemed to find it cute enough to ask me out on a second date after that. Now special occasions are decorated with lilies. Our wedding had a small bunch of lilies at every table. 

When Lily had changed the flowers and sat down, I took some deep breaths while watching my heart rate on one of the many big monitors I was plugged into. After a moment, I looked over to Lily, sitting there patiently, waiting for me to be ready. I reached my hand out as far out as I could, and Lily clasped my frail, bony hand in hers. 

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, I tried my best to be strong for you, and I fought with all I had, but I guess I don’t have enough left. The doctor told me earlier that it’s terminal. The treatments slowed this process down, but it’s past the point of no return. Lily, if I stay on life support, I’ll live one more month.” My tears had started to fall the second I started talking. I squeezed Lily’s hand tighter, our wedding rings bumping against each other as Lily held my hand tighter too. Tears were streaming down her face, and yet Lily just sighed, and looked me in the eyes.

“How do you feel about all this… you’ve been saying how much you hate this place, the treatments, the pain; it’s all over. I’m dreading the day, but… I’ve been saying goodbye on the other side of your door every time I’ve visited, because I didn’t know if you’d still be here next time I came back.” Lily started sobbing, resting her head on the bed next to me. I took my hand out of hers and ran my fingers through her hair just the way she always liked it. 

“Lily, I’ve been thinking what I would do if this happened for a long while too. I can’t do much, but I’ve decided to believe in an afterlife,” I said quietly. Lily looked up at me, her bloodshot eyes meeting mine directly. 

“Decided? Is that the kind of thing that you can just decide to believe in? I always thought you said you weren’t religious.” 

“Oh, no Lily, not like heaven or hell, just an afterlife. When we got married, we swore to love each other till death do us part. And I wondered, what comes after that? I suppose our marriage lasts until we die, so… would you go out on a date with me in the afterlife?” Lily paused, looking at me dumbfounded, before a weak bit of laughter escaped her. She smiled up at me, and I swear I fell in love all over again. 

“God, of course I’ll take you out on a date in the afterlife, dork. But you’d better find a place for us to go quickly, because I can already tell that I won’t be far behind you.” Tears still flowed freely down both of our cheeks, but there was a sense of acceptance in the room.

“In that case Lily, would you get the doctor? I want to spend my last few moments with you fully unplugged so I can drift off peacefully.” 

“Anything for you, love.”