Well, well, well. Can’t seem to find a date this Valentine’s day? Didn’t receive any cupcakes, chocolates, or flowers? Don’t you worry, you’ve come to the right place. 

I have spent the last three years at UofT studying the intricacies of human biology, reading countless research papers about aphrodisiacs over numberless nights, studying the arts of attraction from various cultures, and roaming the 14th floor of Robarts scouring every single book about magic I could find. The culmination of all my years of research, my magnificent magnum opus, is this recipe. An Aperitif of Affection, a Brew of Beauty, a Concoction for Compatibility, a Drink of Desire, an Elixir of Endearment… my patent-pending “Liquid Love™.”

My totally real, completely safe*, and definitely effective** potion of passion is guaranteed to turn your hopeless romantic daydreams to reality, but only if you follow each step with utmost precision.

1. Find a quiet space, where you won’t be disturbed by probing passersby and procure a glass. 
2. Grate a piece of dark chocolate onto a pan and allow it to melt on very low heat. Dip the rim of your glass into the chocolate, and don’t worry about it dripping down the sides. Love, after all, is often a little bit messy.
3. While the chocolate is still melted, sprinkle some finely crushed sea-salt along the rim. The goddess of beauty, Aphrodite, was born from the ocean. With this small gesture, you’ve brought her essence to your lips. 
4. Add to it some vanilla extract made from real beans (none of that artificial stuff). With its sweet fragrance and powerful flavour, vanilla is a strong aphrodisiac and has been harnessed by many mystics and ancients over the eons. 
5. Then goes in a smidgen of spice: cayenne, red chilly powder, a dash of chilli sauce; whatever you have on hand. A bit of heat will be the spark you need to light the roaring fire of love in your life.
6. Now, some expensive, fair trade, good quality cacao bought from a store far from your home. Another aromatic aphrodisiac that has been used for its magical properties for hundreds of years. It must remind you of the time and effort love takes, and show you how worth it that journey is.
7. Pick raspberry, strawberry, pomegranate, or cherry. Then add to your concoction the juice, jam, or essence of this fruit. It’ll impart its red colour, vibrant and bold, along with a touch of sweetness. You can also crush fresh fruit with some sugar to make your own concentrate.
8. Flowers are a universal symbol of romance, vessels of natural beauty filled with scent and colour. Brew tea of hibiscus, jasmine, or any other edible flower and fill your cup all the way to the brim. You may also sprinkle rose water or add a single thread of saffron. 
9. Now whisper to the drink your intentions and wants. What do you hope for? What are they like? Tell it your secrets, say them aloud, for something that’s hidden now has to come out.
10. Remember, your drink might look very different from mine because love takes on unique forms for each one of us. Some cinnamon, gold leaf, wood smoke, or honey would be nice garnishes. Perhaps even a spray of your perfume, a ribbon tied in a bow, or some warm yellow sunlight that will sparkle off their eyes. Additionally, the tears of a unicorn or the dust from a shooting star if you can get your hands on some.

And now your drink is ready, this passionate potation. Be sure to make two glasses, it’s best with conversation. Make it warm in winter, and cold when it is hot; I’m sure my trademarked Liquid Love will help you out a lot! 

*Effects may differ from person to person. Neither Yash nor the Innis Herald are responsible for any unintended side effects, crazed fits of desire, or failed relationships. User discretion is advised.

**Trials are still running. If you’re looking for love and would like to help me out with this incredibly important research, dm me @the_yks_ on instagram or come by my lab at Innis College room 107.