Orientation can feel like a week-long fever dream that drains your social battery until you are all but an empty husk mindlessly humming cheers to yourself as you swarm down Saint George Street with thousands of strangers. Add to this the intense heat and general feelings of malaise, and you’ll soon find yourself asking questions like: do the UTM t-shirts have a communist flag on them or are they just red and yellow? Have I eaten a single solid food today? Maybe I shouldn’t have shot-gunned a Diet Coke at 8:00 am. 

Take away the aspartame-induced hallucinations, though, and you’ll still have a solid list of random sights and experiences that probably weren’t included on the schedule your college gave you. Without further ado, here are my five most memorable moments during Orientation Week. 

#1. Walking through a hollering, hooting horde of hard-hat wearing engineers. 

My vague knowledge of the requirements to get into U of T engineering had led me to form the casual lazy stereotype that engineering freshmen would be a timid bunch, too anxious to hold eye contact for more than two seconds. Instead, they were almost worryingly loud and outgoing. With their yellow hard-hats on, they looked like a swarm of bees that had done a ton of cocaine. Perhaps their astonishing energy can be explained by looking at the popular genre of film in which the protagonist resolves to live life to the fullest after being diagnosed with a terminal illness. 

#2. Struggling to get by the mass of boys surrounding a Durex sponsorship booth. 

Having protection is important, but something about the cluster of freshman boys that so disproportionately surrounded the Durex booth compared to every other stall at the orientation block party was particularly striking to me. Was it their brazen overconfidence? The complete lack of inhibition they displayed whilst talking to the middle-aged adults running the booth? I cannot be sure, but all I know is that it was more inspiring to me than any of the two-hundred wine mom inspirational quotes I have saved on my Pinterest board. I reflected on their endearing naivety the next day when my orientation leader told my group he had won a fanny pack with three condoms in it—three too many, he said. 

#3. Watching the bulldog, beaver, and gryphon mascots during the pre-parade go, in a matter of seconds, from vigorous gyrating, fist pumping, and chest thumping, to standing solemnly with their heads bowed for the land acknowledgment. 

The energy the mascots displayed throughout Orientation Week was very admirable and land acknowledgements are very necessary. That being said, this transition was one of the most jarring, bizarre things I have witnessed in my life. 

#4. Weaving around a smattering of elderly men in tweed suits that were handing out communist literature during the club fair. 

I knew the club fair would be an overwhelming sensory experience. The beatboxing committee had a member perform for its entire duration, which, while lending an interesting Pitch Perfect vibe to the event, was quite intense. What I hadn’t anticipated, however, was having to dodge several strangely well-dressed men dotted around Hart House Circle, who were waving communist pamphlets in the air like paper boys in Victorian England. Between the elderly communists and the born-again Christians, navigating the club fair was like solving the most ideologically tinged obstacle course of all time. It was undoubtedly the most effective bonding activity of the week. 

#5. Realizing that no one—including the UTSU president—particularly likes Trinity College. 

When I tell people I’m from Innis College, I typically see the squinted eyes and slow head nod of someone who has no idea what I am talking about. I’ll take this any day over the shared hostility U of T has towards Trinity College. During the orientation pre-parade, the UTSU president received a roar of applause when he announced it was unfortunate Trinity would be joining the tri-campus parade. People even booed them during the cheer-off—myself included! I didn’t and still don’t have any idea why Trinity is the target of such animosity, but if shamelessly shouting “Innis loves you” at strangers in downtown Toronto during the parade has taught me anything, it is that herd mentality is very powerful and I am easily swayed. 

Orientation Week is at once vibrant and overwhelming, energetic and intimidating, educational and confusing, fun and absolutely ridiculous. It absorbed my time and energy. It distracted me from realizing I could smell weed literally everywhere I went. Above all, it made me believe that the most important thing in the world was choosing the perfect assortment of colours for a bag painting session. That is something I will never forgive.