Creative

Satire: Innis Herald to begin printing on compost bins

The recently elected Editor-in-Chief of The Innis Herald, Daria Mancino, has announced plans to offer students of Innis College the option of buying future editions of the paper printed on compost bins. The change is part of Daria’s goals to increase readership and to reduce waste.

“With everybody getting their news online through Facebook or Reddit these days, we’ve been noticing dropping readership numbers in the past decade,” she says. Before the widespread use of the internet, The Innis Herald had dozens of Innisians reading the paper. However, this year, out of the 2000 Innis students surveyed, only six students (the exact number of students who sit on the paper’s executive) reported reading the paper. In the same survey, nearly 99% of students living in Innis Residence reported using the paper to line their compost bins.

“That’s when it hit me,” exclaimed Daria, “it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I couldn’t believe we didn’t think of it before. We should just print the paper directly on the compost bins.” The Innis Herald invited Innis college students to a focus group, assessing public opinion before implementing the compost bins throughout the college.

“I think it’s a great idea and I’m excited to see it happen,” said Innis resident and incoming Environmental Committee Co-Chair, Justin Callahan. “It’s killing two birds with one stone. [The paper] already goes into the compost anyways. We can reduce the paper being used, and students can read the paper every time they take out the compost.”

The Innis Herald plans to collaborate with GreenlidTM, the current supplier of compost bins for the Innis College Residence. Morgan Wyatt, an Innis alumnus and co-founder of GreenlidTM, is looking forward to the innovative idea. “Our compost bins are already made of recycled newspapers, so this is really thinking ahead. It’s great to see student leaders make decisions like this,” he said.

The new publishing style also builds upon the paper’s existing fanbase, particularly avid readers who posted glowing reviews of the paper on its Facebook page. One such review read, “The Innis Herald could not be worse if it tried. At least it’s a good compost liner.” The Herald decided to honour this fan by taking their review to heart and printing the paper directly on the compost bin itself.

The Herald is also looking into printing directly onto apple cores and used paper towels to further facilitate the composting process. “It’ll be more challenging, for sure,” said Daria, “but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.”

In a statement published on The Innis Herald website, residents can expect to see GreenlidTM Herald Edition compost bins in their suites by this upcoming September. Commuter students will also be able to purchase sets of 5 in The Innis Herald office to use and read at home.